The Annoyances of Life
by Ailat
Summary: What annoys me about bad fanfics. More than just Twilight/PJO; has pretty much every catagory I've read. T for harshness. These caustic words are not for the eyes of impressionable small children. ;D


**A/N:** **Hello! I'd just like to say, this is really how I feel. No offence to any author who writes things like this, I'm sure there are some good ones out there, but these are just a few of the things that really bug me about fanfics. It contains about every category that I've read from.**

**Oh, and BTW, they are all OOC on purpose to better explain my annoyance.**

**(3****rd**** person POV) **

The characters were just getting comfortable when the meeting started.

Luxa and Gregor couldn't keep their hands off of each other, Renyie and Kate were staring longingly into each other's eyes, and Alice Cullen was giggling excitedly about every shopping trip she'd ever gone on in her life. Lots more characters milled about, doing what everyone apparently thought they did all the time. Everyone talked in text speak and cussed every five seconds, many times not even making sense.

All of a sudden, a couch appeared in the middle of the room. It would have crushed Bella, who was always in danger, if Edward, ever wary of things popping into existence, hadn't pulled her out the way in time.

On the couch sat a girl with wildly messed and tangled curly brown hair. Her hazel eyes looked up at everyone in disgust. On her lap sat a laptop.

Upon seeing her, Edward announced, "i cn't red hr mind!"

The girl fixed her gaze on him and snapped, "Stop that!" Her fingers flew across the keyboard of the laptop and immediately, Edward said the same thing again, only correctly.

"I can't read her mind!" The girl still didn't seem quite satisfied. She stroked the keyboard again and a change happened in Edward's expression.

"Oh, now I can. Her name is Ailat. She's regretting her decision to even do this. Now she's annoyed with me. She changed her mind. She told me to shut up…oh." He dutifully stopped as she swept her fingers across the keys. "I can't read her mind again. That's no fun." Edward pouted.

Ailat growled. "As Edward so eloquently explained, I'm Ailat. I'm a fan fiction writer."

Everyone in the room gasped. They'd heard of these so called writers from other characters. _Fang has been missing for years because of one_, thought Iggy, who was holding hands with Nudge.

"Yes yes, I know how much we suck these days. But I'm here to try and straighten things out. Things that really bug me. Like that!" she snapped, glaring at Percy and Annabeth, who had been confessing their love for one another while a manticore and a hellhound waited, patiently playing tiddlywinks.

"Just because you're having your cute little Percabeth moment does NOT mean that monsters suddenly stop and listen and wait for you to finish. So get going!" she shouted. The manticore and hellhound stopped and attacked. Jumping, Annabeth and Percy quickly retreated out the door, followed by the monsters.

Ailat nodded contentedly before looking back over them all. Her eyes narrowed in on Reynie and Kate.

"You two! Stop making lovey dovey eyes! You're only 11! That's just weird." The friends leapt apart, looking ashamed. "And you two!" she snarled, looking at Luxa and Gregor. "Stop kissing every five seconds. Sure sure, you're 12, that's so much better. I'll accept that you guys are a bit mature for your age, but honestly, I'd be yelling at 23 year olds too if they kissed as much as the two of you!"

Luxa opened her mouth to make some smart retort, but with a swift strike of the keyboard, a box of soundproof glass appeared around her. She yelled and pounded on the glass angrily, but Ailat ignored her pointedly while Gregor (his sword taken with mere taps a moment before) stood helplessly.

Ailat glanced around and didn't fail to mention something about each and every one of them. She told Alice to get a life, Emmet to stop acting like a baby, and Rosalie to smile a little, she'd look a lot prettier that way. Bella was told harshly to stop being such a Mary-Sue and Edward was physically restrained by some unseen force conjured up by the keyboard as Bella was slapped. With a look of loathing, she left Edward there "for good measure" and told him to stop being so protective, Bella needs a good cruel word every now and then.

Ailat separated Iggy and Nudge with a good long rant about how stupid Iggy was for not being with Ella and how creepy it was that they were dating anyways, cause they were practically family. She gave Max a contemptive look and told her she was becoming waaaay too prissy, though it wasn't really fan fictions fault, it was JP's. She even went as far as to tell her that she deserved Dylan and they could go make babies in Germany for all she cared, as long as Fang ended up with Maya. Needless to say, Max was restrained as well.

She shouted about how weird it was that Thalia, (who, for goodness sakes, was a Hunter!) and Nico were put together. And she told Rachel exactly how cool she thought she was and exactly how much it was ruining her image of her when she came onto Percy like that. The Greek gods were given an earful about their child producing, especially the big three, whose child number was increasing as steadily as the badly written fanfics, and, (more directed at the sky, oddly enough,) she raged about how many times people tried to break Artemis's vow for her and how it was just getting outrageous.

She didn't even have to say anything to Katniss, Peeta, and Gale, who immediately moved so that Katniss was holding hands with Gale and Peeta was wearing lederhosen **(inside joke).**

Hermione was deemed as a girl with very few morals if she were to date Draco, Sirius, Remus, or Snape at any point in life. Ron was told to stop being so freaking stupid and Harry was whacked about the head for being too heroic. "And I'd like to remind everyone that, no matter how much you want him to, Sirius Black _physically_ cannot _possibly_become pregnant with Remus Lupin's baby. Just in case you skipped out on Life for a while and missed that" she growled. Ailat angrily muttered to herself that Neville and Luna should have been together, but that was JKR's problem, not the FF writer's.

Finally, she stopped at Clary and Jace. Clary was doing her best not to cower and Jace was cleaning his nails, trying to look bored.

"The two of you are just a problem. A huge problem. Clary, you should have ended up with Simon back when you were still a decent human being, but now you've been so corrupted by him," at this, she glared with such fury at Jace that everyone else was surprised not to see a burning hole through his chest, "that you deserve His Idiocy over here. And you," she said, again glaring at Jace, "suck. A lot. You are a freaking jerk who isn't funny, hot, sexy, or clever in any sense of the word.  
>You're angsty and annoying and self absorbed and suicidal and you hurt everyone around you. And my saying that is going to give you so much to cut yourself over that you'll probably go looking for a fight with some werewolves, but I'm gonna stop that right here and now." She picked up her keyboard and started to type, but then got a strangled look on her face.<p>

"Drat! I can't fix what the real author put into place." She looked at Jace again, furious. "You'll just have to suck for the rest of your life. Tell Simon that he's the only one worth reading about in your series."

She turned to the rest of them. "I'm _done_ here. Just writing this has raised my blood pressure. I'm gonna go throw something out a window." she growled. And with a few final taps of her keyboard, she and the green and cream couch disappeared.

The characters all looked at each other, apparently confused.

Then they went back to what they were doing, with no heed to the crazy girl's rants.

**A/N: Oh, it's good to get all that out of my system. I've been reading fanfics and these are just what I could think of that bug the crap out of me. **

**Review and tell me how much you think I suck! Or tell me that you totally agree!**


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